Well, isn’t this a delightful saga of what the Wall Street Journal has dubbed the Great Birthday Card Caper? It seems they’ve embarked on a rather ambitious journey of creative writing, alleging that President Trump sent an astonishingly bizarre birthday card to the infamous Jeffrey Epstein. And just in case anyone missed the sarcasm, this news tidbit might best be filed under ‘fantastical fiction’—right next to unicorn sightings and moon cheese tastings.
The card in question is a theatrical script playing out like a cross between a mystery novel and a poorly scripted buddy film. Imagine Donald and Jeffrey exchanging cryptic lines about life’s mysteries while pondering enigmas that apparently, like fine wine, never age. The pièce de résistance is a joyous wish for “every day to be another wonderful secret.” Because who doesn’t want a bit of clandestine chaos as part of their birthday cheer?
Naturally, this sparked President Trump’s ire. He’s not just blowing candles out, but ready to blow the metaphorical doors off the Wall Street Journal’s offices with lawsuits. Even Elon Musk, who has had his fair share of spats with Trump, pointed out that this letter simply doesn’t pass the sniff test. If even a tech titan notorious for being quirky and contrarian raises an eyebrow, one has to wonder about the editorial decision-making over at the Journal.
And yet, the media circus rolls on, with the usual sideshow suspects, like former TV news personalities, chiming in—some feigning shock, others conveniently popping popcorn while watching the spectacle unfold. It’s all just another knot in the tangled web of political theater we’ve come to expect in recent years, where facts are optional and fiction reigns supreme.
As for Trump, his decision to rally legal support and pressure the DOJ to release material from the Epstein investigation appears to be a counter-attack aimed at dismantling what he describes as Democratic fabrications. Whether these documents ever see the light of day beyond the courtroom remains anyone’s guess. But one thing’s for sure: this latest episode demonstrates the undying complexity of Washington’s backstage antics, leaving the public once again gobsmacked and reaching for their alligator-patterned popcorn.
