In a jaw-dropping twist that could only happen in the surreal world of American politics, ABC News has agreed to cough up a staggering $15 million to settle a defamation lawsuit brought by none other than the man, the myth, the meme: Donald Trump. Yes, folks, while most people are just trying to pay off their student loans or save for a fluffy golden retriever, Trump is busy turning media giants into ATMs with his legal prowess. You could say he’s found a “new way to fund a Presidential Library,” which is about as likely to happen as a vegan barbecue, but who are we to judge his dreams?

Now, let’s unpack the deliciously absurd case behind this hefty payday. The lawsuit stemmed from ABC News and George Snuffleupagus—you know, that guy who still looks like he could be a character named Snuffy’s sidekick—spinning some wild tales about e Jean Carroll. Yes, the same e Jean Carroll who we all know practically plagiarized a crime show plot to craft her sensational story against Trump. Apparently, department store dressing rooms are the new hotbeds of scandal, and Trump’s just the guy to get accused of it. One would think her story was a plot twist away from a season finale cliffhanger.

But don’t fret! Trump is now $15 million richer, and while he’s probably busy figuring out how to spend it—funding that Presidential Library or maybe investing in a line of “Kangaroo Court” themed merchandise—we can’t help but chuckle a little. It’s about time someone put a price tag on the left’s endless parade of deception. At least he’s putting that dough to good use instead of letting it rot in a banker’s vault somewhere like the rest of us regular folk might.

As for Snuffleupagus, he decided to delete his Twitter account as if a little online turbulence was enough to scare him into hiding. Newsflash! This is the digital age, where embarrassment lives forever in the archives. If deleting tweets could erase bad reporting, we’d have zero examples of journalists getting things spectacularly wrong. Spoiler: they won’t be taking their “hot takes” with them, no matter how many times they hit the delete button. If they think a little digital dust can make them disappear, Trump’s legal victories are here to remind them that they’ve been caught in their own web of lies.

Meanwhile, this settlement seems like music to the ears of Stormy Daniels—who, in case you forgot, owes Trump over $100,000 after not-so-heroically losing her own legal battle. Isn’t it delightful how the tables have turned? As her former lawyer, the media’s darling Michael Avenatti, moves from courtroom glory to an acceptable, sad reality of “oops, I may have been wrong,” it’s almost like watching a soap opera unfold. In the end, perhaps Stormy or Avenatti should consider writing a tell-all memoir titled “How Not to Go Up Against Trump,” which would undoubtedly become a bestseller for all the wrong reasons.

And let’s not overlook the struggles of mainstream media as they tumble down the ratings rabbit hole. CNN’s prime time shows are now pulling in numbers so low that they’ve got to be using the leftover crumbs from ABC’s kitchen to stay afloat. Meanwhile, Mitt Romney’s melodramatic farewell from politics added yet another layer to this epic saga. He’s a “Republican” who’s finally admitted what many already believed: Trump is the Republican Party now, and Romney’s old version of the GOP is as relevant as a flip phone in the age of smartphones.

So, as all these political dramas unfold, the real comedy is watching the left scramble to cover their tracks while Trump sits back and picks up the bill for their incessant nonsense. Because let’s be honest: If this isn’t a classic case of Liberal Lies coming back to bite them, then we don’t know what is. So here’s to Trump—putting the fun back in presidential funding, one outrageous court case at a time.