It seems higher education has become the alternate universe where logic goes to die and social justice warriors roam freely in search of their next cause. Remember when universities were places designed to prepare young adults for real careers? Apparently, that was so last century. Now, they double as indoctrination centers for woke ideologies, where professors seem to have a PhD in Marxism and a minor in parental rebellion. It’s like they’ve taken a page from “The Hunger Games,” but instead of fighting for survival, students are battling for who can shout the loudest about their feelings—or lack thereof.
The data is staggering. Have you ever heard of a 12:1 ratio? No, that’s not the latest trend in protein shakes. That’s the ratio of liberal to conservative faculty at thirty-eight of America’s top universities. Back in the 60s, it was a comparatively tame 2.7 to 1. Yet here we are today, where the liberal virus has spread faster than a college student showing off their spectacular “no-filter” selfies on Instagram. What’s even more amusing is that those leaning left get extra credit for their “creative” interpretations of what constitutes “offensive” speech, which can lead to an immediate revocation of college acceptances if they feel like it. Nothing like a little “cancel culture” to make the admission process that much more exciting.
Cut to college campuses in 2023, where students are apparently so fragile that they need emotional support animals for the trauma of entering adulthood. Shakespeare has now been issued trigger warnings because nothing screams academic rigor quite like telling students that there may be “offensive” material in a couple of centuries-old plays. Can you imagine? A real-life fantasy world where students are so “sensitive” that a simple line from “Hamlet” could send them spiraling into a crisis. Where do we sign up for the safe space to discuss this madness?
In this brave new world, the term “diversity” has taken on an entirely new meaning. Separate graduation ceremonies for black students? Sure, why not! After all, sharing a moment of achievement with folks of a different skin color might be just too daunting. The irony is palpable as the same universities that fought tooth and nail to desegregate are now fostering a brave new “resegregation” movement. Just try suggesting a white-only dorm, and watch the outrage unfold. It’s a swift ticket to canceled upon arrival. Not that white culture is even regarded as a culture, right? It seems white folks are relegated to being the scapegoats for every ill in society, all while being told they have no identity of their own.
To add a cherry on top of this topsy-turvy scenario, faculty and students are hunting for perceived bias like raccoons scouring a garbage bin for treasure. And if anyone dares to make a “funny joke” or mention a blunt fact, they can find themselves on the receiving end of a bias hotline report. The horror! What next—banning banana peels because they resemble a racist stereotype? This is becoming a real-life caricature of campus culture. Toss in a protagonist who gets expunged from Harvard because of some cringe-inducing high school texts, and we have the recipe for a blockbuster movie.
At this point, it’s hard to know whether to laugh or cry. While plenty of people believe college is a scam, in truth, the problem lies less with the hefty student loans and more with what students are being fed while racking them up. What used to be a rite of passage has morphed into an altered reality show where feelings reign supreme over logic. The curtain is slowly lifting on the absurdity, but until common sense returns to campuses, we’ll just have to sit back and enjoy this absurdist theater we call higher education. Grab the popcorn; it’s sure to be a wild ride.
