Last night, Joe Biden finally delivered his farewell address, a moment typically reserved for outgoing presidents and usually taken seriously. But not this time. Instead of somber reflection, we got a delightful combo platter of conspiracy theories and complete nonsense, served just in time for a bedtime snack. Biden took to the airwaves to warn the nation of the “dangerous concentration of power” in the hands of a select few ultra-wealthy elites. It’s ironic because haven’t we heard that same speech when Democrats are scrambling to explain why their policies are not working out?
According to the farewell monologue, nearly 10% of the U.S. population consists of “criminal invaders.” It’s like Biden was reading from some right-wing conspiracy handbook while he strapped on his slippers for bedtime. Meanwhile, our dear president claims that this beautiful nation is under siege, not by foreign invaders or terrorists, but by the unhinged chaos of his own policies. But who needs detail and clarity when you can just point to a vague “elite oligarchy” to cloak the real issues at hand? It’s such a classic diversion tactic that even a magician would envy it.
And let’s take a moment to discuss old George Soros, the man who seems to haunt Biden’s every waking hour. Apparently, Democrats can’t hold a medal ceremony without giving one to Soros. Bizarrely, George is so frail that he had to send his son to accept an award on his behalf. But no worries, Soros has his fingers deep into the pockets of progressives across the country, dumping millions into district attorneys who let criminals roam free while real Americans live in fear. Sure, that sounds like the plot of a particularly bad daytime soap opera, but no, this is just the current state of the Democratic Party.
And then there’s the tech-industrial complex. Biden is warning about the “information warfare” waged online, which could be a real concern if they weren’t so busy censoring any opinion that doesn’t fit their narrative. He’s right about one thing: misinformation is rampant. But is this really the guy we want to take the moral high ground on truth? He’s probably still trying to find the original tweet that got him into trouble in the first place. Last we checked, TikTok is still thriving in this new age of disinformation, thanks to leaders who seem more concerned with crafting safe spaces than facing the backbone of reality.
Finally, we have Kamala Harris, who finished her latest word salad with a definition of “winning.” Goodness! Just when you think it can’t get worse, in comes Kamala with her riveting speech that could put even the most caffeinated squirrel into a deep slumber. Perhaps we might never hear from her again, and honestly, that could be a win for everyone involved. If all these folks are operating under the umbrella of progressive policies, one can only wonder what their next act of absurdity will be.
Meanwhile, over in the world of foreign relations, good old Biden is trying to take credit for a ceasefire deal between Israel and Hamas, which could go down as one of the most ambitious claims of the decade. But as the social media warriors like to point out, this diplomatic achievement had more to do with Donald Trump’s earlier firm stance on similar matters than anything Joey boy cooked up. Apparently, a little strength goes a long way while the rest of us sit back and laugh at the circus unfolding in front of us.
As the nation gears up for another round of political shenanigans, we can only hope for steady hands on the reins this time. Maybe, just maybe, Joe will finally take the advice of his aides to stick to knitting and let someone who knows what they are doing take the lead next. Until then, buckle up—this wild ride is just getting started!
