In the wild world of American politics, where the bizarre often feels mundane, Joe Biden has managed to turn his farewell address into quite the spectacle. Picture this: a president with a low approval rating so dismal it could make a traffic cone seem like a better option in the Oval Office. As poll results show Biden’s approval plummeting to a mere 36% with dismal scores in areas he likely wishes he could shove under the rug—such as immigration and the economy—he seems to be leaving office in a manner akin to an Irish goodbye, but not in the way one would hope.
Instead of the classic “sneak out quietly while everyone else is distracted,” Biden has opted for a slow, painful exit that’s more like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Clinging to power, he took to the microphone to warn us all about the dangers of social media and misinformation. Irony anyone? Here’s a man whose legacy is marred by his family’s questionable dealings and a résumé of fibs that could fill a novel. Meanwhile, as he stands before America, he bleats about accountability as if he has any moral high ground from which to preach.
Did Biden think he was giving a presidential address or auditioning for a horror movie? The visuals were a mix of unsettling and comical, with some reports suggesting he was sitting on a pillow—perhaps to cushion the blow of his own words. Yes, that’s right; not only is he busy avoiding a graceful exit, but he also needs some help getting comfortable while laying out his farewell plans. It’s almost as if he planned to shed a tear if things got too emotional—cue the box of tissues next to him.
Let’s talk about the family dynamic for a moment, shall we? Hunter Biden darting around like a kid at a candy store, allegedly hiding bags of questionable substances at the White House while dear old Dad warns us about the perils of “the tech-industrial complex” feels like a scene straight out of a sitcom gone wrong. Honestly, one has to wonder if this is all one elaborate setup for a reality TV show; will the next season feature the family’s chase for legitimacy?
Of course, Biden’s attempts to call for more crackdowns on social media meant to protect “the children” brought about a good dose of head shaking. After years of managing a narrative that conveniently omits the truth, the absurdity of his speech reached new heights. With calls for accountability, it feels as though he’s forgetting his own contributions to the disinformation bubble. It’s almost poetic that he leaves office blaming social media instead of looking in the mirror to confront his own party’s role in this mess.
As he waddles off into the sunset, the Dems are left with a sinking ship, and they don’t seem to have life vests. Biden’s final moments only serve to amplify how he’ll be remembered—not for being a champion of the people but for setting the stage for the rise of Trumpism yet again. And the media? Oh, it’s a sight to behold as their heroes crumble under the weight of reality, with emotional reactions that are borderline theatrical.
So, here’s to Joe Biden. His presidency may be fading faster than the last slice of pizza at a party, and while he believes he’s leaving a legacy, it’s hard to miss the whiff of a dumpster fire. Buckle up, folks! The circus might just be getting started, and it looks like the next act is one for the books.
