Inauguration Day has once again flung open the door to a whirlwind of political drama and celebrity antics that could make even the most seasoned Hollywood scriptwriter blush in shame. That’s right, folks—Donald Trump is potentially taking the presidential throne once more, and the left is frothing at the mouth as if it just spotted a ravenous bear in a cave full of picnicking liberals. Who knew a simple swearing-in ceremony could turn into a circus worthy of a Vegas residency?
So, the big event occurred indoors because, of course, Mother Nature has her own plans for Washington, D.C.—making it as unwelcoming as a vegan at a Texas barbecue. Naturally, our friends on the left are blaming it on the good ol’ polar vortex. But let’s be real; it’s more likely they’re just trying to dodge a repeat of past events and their associated chaos. You know, things like the anxious wonders of “will there be a group of protestors with pitchforks” or “how many people will try to sneak past security dressed as capybaras?” (No offense to those lovely rodents, of course.)
And speaking of chaos, let’s talk about the *invasion*—no, not the kind with little green men, but rather the kind that gets AOC’s blood boiling. You know, the kind that involves illegal immigrants. While some are clutching their pearls at the thought of “insensitive” comments regarding immigration, there are zealous citizens sitting on the sidelines convinced that deportation is the new sport of the year. Rumor has it Trump will sign a staggering number of executive actions. Some say fifty, others two hundred—at this point, it feels like guessing which avocado toast will increase in price next on your brunch tab.
Among the festivities surrounding the inauguration, wouldn’t you know it, none other than Snoop Dogg, Rick Ross, and the Internet’s favorite meme machine, Soulja Boy, graced the stage. These are the same artists who once fancied themselves gladiators in the anti-Trump coliseum. Seriously, Snoop even had a music video depicting him sending a fictional Trump six feet under. Yet here they are, performing as if they’ve all suddenly bathed in a tub of Trump-approved glow. Their switch from *MAGA-hating* to *MAGA-friendly* is akin to watching a soap opera wash away all its plot points for good ratings. Maybe they woke up and realized that disagreeing with Donald Trump isn’t exactly a winning lottery ticket in Hollywood anymore.
If the left hadn’t already bonked their heads on their kitchen cabinets in disbelief, they surely did when TikTok went on a brief hiatus—oh wait, my bad, it was “temporarily shut down.” Cue the horror for Gen Z teetering on the edge of sanity, wondering how their TikTok dances would survive without their daily fix. They got a message proclaiming, “Donald Trump will save the day!” Talk about a plot twist. If the Democrats thought they could resurrect their standing with the youth through sheer clinical wishes, they clearly overlooked the fact that TikTok users need their fix faster than a caffeine-addicted squirrel on a sugar binge.
And the cherry on this already obnoxiously frosted cake? Joe Biden, bless his heart, has somehow the lowest approval ratings of any outgoing president. At this point, the Democratic Party should consider rolling out a ‘how not to run a campaign’ seminar featuring AOC as the keynote speaker. A reminder to everyone: politics doesn’t just come with a side of humble pie; it comes served with an extra scoop of “how did we get here?”
So as Trump takes the stage once more, armed with an executive pen sharper than a tack and a celebrity roster filched straight out of left-field, one can only sit back, grab the popcorn, and enjoy the left’s collective meltdown. It’s good to be living in such amusing times, filled with everything you would expect from a Saturday night live skit—except this is all very much real life. Buckle up, folks; this carnival has only just begun!
