In the latest edition of “Celebrities in Space,” we have the larger-than-life Katy Perry taking on the cosmos—or at least trying to. The pop star embarked on what can only be described as the most bizarre space mission-gone-wrong since the dawn of time. And the vehicle of choice? A rocket that looks like it was lifted straight out of a cartoon, appropriately dubbed the New Shepard. No, this isn’t science fiction, folks; this is celebrity culture on steroids.

Upon her so-called return from space, Katy Perry’s face seemed to have gone AWOL. It’s as if her career took one small step for pop and one giant leap into oblivion. For those who are, shall we say, not fans of her musical endeavors, there was a gleam of hope that the cosmos might call dibs on her and save us from another catchy tune. Alas, she returned to Earth with tales of unity and belonging—phrases that are sure to echo in the halls of Twitter for days.

Now, let’s dwell on the surreal notion of Katy Perry donning an astronaut’s outfit, mingling cosmic exploration with pop culture pizzazz. Initially, the images seemed amusing, like watching a fish out of water. But the galactic escapade had critics rolling their eyes faster than a rocket launch. The journey was hyped as a breakthrough in commercial spaceflight, with Katy seemingly missing the basic criterion of being an actual astronaut—doing something essential during the flight, like pushing buttons or not simply sitting as decked-out luggage.

Speaking of meaningful participation, it’s reported that Katy and her celebrity crew merely grazed the proverbial boundary of space—the Karman line—and, well, skedaddled back to Earth. This ride, which sounds more like a vertical roller coaster than a space mission, left little room for the crew to contribute to the advancement of human spaceflight. And while the celeb-capsule adventure might have touched the void above, it never quite reached orbit, leaving them with less astronaut cred than an Uber driver.

Even with all this hullabaloo, her fellow passengers and some voices in media circles are celebrating the excursion as a monumental achievement for girl power. Yet, as we look deeper into what actually transpired, we see it for what it is: a glorified high-altitude jaunt billed as a space odyssey. The whole spectacle, fraught with feminist buzzwords and celebrity adoration, ultimately boils down to a sumptuous feast for the media, while leaving Katy Perry’s astronaut dreams adrift.

So here’s to celebrities with grand tales of space conquest and the ground reality of public perception. While Katy’s cosmic journey might have been short-lived, it provides a reminder that sometimes, a good ol’ dose of humility might be a better guide than a rocketship. In the world of celebrity astronauts, it seems there’s still a long way—or perhaps just a higher altitude—to truly reach the stars.