The Catholic Church has its first American pope, and folks in the heartland are cheering. Leo XIV, born Robert Prevost in Chicago, brings a blue-collar spirit to the Vatican. His election shocked global elites who never thought an American could lead the faith.

Insiders say Leo kept it real right until the conclave. His brother spilled the beans—the future pope was solving Wordle puzzles and binging “Conclave,” a gritty show about Church politics. Maybe Hollywood’s drama taught him more than seminary school ever did.

This isn’t some ivory-tower pontiff. Leo grew up fixing cars in a working-class neighborhood, not sipping espresso in Roman salons. He knows what it’s like to clock in and pray hard. Real Americans respect that—a leader who hasn’t forgotten his roots.

While coastal liberals panic about his conservative values, Leo’s quietly building bridges. He praised Pope Francis but won’t cave to woke nonsense. Expect a faith-first approach that protects traditional marriage and the unborn. The left’s nightmare is our victory.

Rome’s bureaucrats are sweating. An American pope means no more backroom deals in fancy Italian. Leo’s Midwest honesty could drain the swamp of Vatican corruption. Maybe he’ll even audit those gold-plated coffers.

Patriots are celebrating a leader who puts God above globalism. In his first speech, Leo vowed to “keep our arms open” while standing firm on truth. Translation: love the sinner, hate the sin. No more compromising with cultural Marxists.

Some Euro-cardinals grumble about his “simplistic” style. Good. Let them complain. America didn’t become great by obsessing over finger-wagging etiquette. Leo’s Wordle habit proves he’s sharper than any wine-sipping theologian.

This pope’s a fighter—the kind who’ll battle for souls without apology. While coastal elites mock his TV habits, real Americans see a humble servant leader. The conclave chose strength. The world will learn to respect it.