Andrew Klavan recently tried playing Minecraft and had some fiery thoughts. The conservative commentator dove into the blocky world, baffled by its simple graphics and strange gameplay. He mocked the square sun and creepy creatures that come out at night, calling it “one of the weirdest games” he’s ever seen.
Klavan couldn’t believe how basic everything looked, comparing the music to elevator tunes. He tried building a tower to reach the clouds, joking it would be a modern Tower of Babel. For a guy who loves real-world values, Minecraft’s cartoonish style felt like a rejection of beauty and common sense.
Nighttime in the game got him riled up. When the sun sets, evil monsters spawn everywhere—no explanation, no logic. Klavan saw this as a metaphor for how chaos creeps into society when traditional structures break down. He questioned why anyone would waste time in a world that rewards nonsense over hard work.
The commentator roasted the game’s lack of clear goals. You just mine blocks and build? No purpose, no victory—just endless wandering. Klavan argued this mirrors today’s culture, where kids are taught there’s no right or wrong, just endless “exploring” without direction.
He marveled at the sunrise graphics but slammed the overall vibe. A square sun in a square world? Klavan said it’s like living in a communist utopia where creativity is crushed. Real beauty has curves and depth, not pixelated edges. This game, he warned, trains minds to accept ugliness as normal.
Building his “Tower of Claven” became a joke about human pride. Reaching the clouds, he quipped, would make him “greater than the gods.” It’s a dig at woke culture’s obsession with tearing down old heroes to put mediocre replacements on pedestals.
Klavan ended with a warning: games like Minecraft rot brains by normalizing chaos. They teach kids to celebrate meaningless tasks instead of real achievement. In a world that needs strong leaders, this garbage turns citizens into sheep.
His final take? Ditch the screens. Go outside. Build something real. America wasn’t forged by people mining virtual blocks—it was built by men with calloused hands and clear visions. Minecraft’s just another sign of a culture losing its way.