In an era defined by transparency and accountability, one would think the use of an “auto pen” — a device that signs documents with a mechanical arm — would be a quaint relic rather than a pivot point for a scandal. Yet here we are, with congressional investigators peering over the dusty curtains of the previous administration, eager to uncover who exactly was at the helm of the signature machine during the twilight days of Joe Biden’s presidency. Was this former President even aware those scribbles were happening, or did the mechanized apparatus serve as the true commander-in-chief?
James Cromer, a prominent figure in this ongoing investigation, confirms what many have suspected all along: key figures in the previous administration are starting to lawyer up. When legal teams start talking to one another, it usually means they’re not just discussing how to organize a potluck. Cromer remains optimistic, though, about the speed at which information is surfacing. This is certainly refreshing, given how previous investigations seemed slower than an Internet dial-up connection.
What everyone wants to know, of course, is whether Joe Biden had actually given any sort of green light for the use of the auto pen, or if his cognitive state was remotely up to par. Curious minds are particularly interested in how Dr. O’Connor, his doctor who once portrayed him as a “picture of health,” might fare under this fresh wave of scrutiny. After all, the only thing more concerning than a doctor stretching the truth would be yoga pants in the men’s section.
The investigation seems likely to reach far and wide, encompassing family members and close associates if they’re found to be involved in decisions concerning the gadget’s usage. It’s a stellar moment for those attorneys previously chained to the boredom of estate settlements and divorces. Yes, even Dr. Jill Biden and his son Hunter could be called to speak—or listen to lawyers talk on their behalf—depending on what twisted path this saga takes.
One thing’s for sure: the volume of executive orders issued by the auto pen during those last 90 days is staggering. It’s as if the White House staff were enjoying an early holiday with a never-ending present wrap-a-thon of legislation. But were these orders a strategic maneuver to make life difficult for successors like Donald Trump? Only time will tell. Hopefully, the answers will finally shed light on who was pulling the strings during the tumultuous final acts of Joe Biden’s presidency. Meanwhile, for those who thrive on political drama, this unfolding mystery is a gift that keeps on giving.
