In every family, there’s always one person who causes everyone to pause and take a deep breath before bringing newcomers around. You know the type, the Uncle Garys of the world—bless their hearts—who need a pre-visit disclaimer or two. They’re the individuals who find conspiracies in their morning cereal and who will kickstart a debate about chemtrails before the mashed potatoes even hit the table. The warning? Don’t bring up the moon landing or a certain California congresswoman unless you’re ready for a one-way ticket to a rabbit hole of theories and, quite possibly, bewilderment.

But let’s face it, Uncle Gary’s not just a character from a family sitcom; he’s a slice of Americana. He’s like those roadside attractions you can’t help but love—they may seem a bit odd, but they’re part of the family tapestry. Just recently, while hanging out, our hero’s friend received a Facebook message from Uncle Gary, causing a wave of dread not unlike opening a surprise tax notice. And what was Uncle Gary’s latest escapade? Discussing world affairs, naturally, in a way only he can. Sure, they were “just chatting,” but with Uncle Gary, that could mean anything from sharing meme theories to contemplating whether Hollywood is a front for alien overlords.

Imagine the scenario—a significant other is more comfortable chatting with an ex than with Uncle Gary. That’s some family dynamism we’ve got there! It’s almost like comparing a slightly annoying song on repeat to a full-on rock concert in one’s living room. Why the hesitation, you ask? Uncle Gary’s social media prowess involves creative methods of expression that defy simplicity. It’s unclear if it works, but you can’t deny it’s creative.

In families across America, there are more Garys than one might think—all convinced they’re keeping a step ahead of the ‘Man.’ These characters are a walk on the wilder side of Thanksgiving dinners. You might shake your head but remember, just like the wrinkles in a vintage leather jacket, they add that quirky glint to our more serious civic crunch.

So, here’s to the Uncle Garys everywhere, the folks who make us cringe lovingly and laugh awkwardly, who turn meals into memorable storytelling moments. They’re the ones who challenge our patience and ultimately remind us of the vibrant spectrum of perspectives that make up the grand old family dynamic. Next time you sit down for some mashed potatoes, remember you don’t need a ticket on a wild conspiracy ride to enjoy family gatherings—just pull up a chair next to Uncle Gary.