Deck the halls! There’s a new Santa in town and, surprise surprise, it’s bringing along the ultimate festive gift: a sack full of DEI mandates. Move over traditional Santa, here comes “Obama Clause,” sliding down the chimney, promising a Black female pilot to ensure diversity not only takes to the skies but also lands on our doorsteps. Talk about taking yuletide cheer to new heights—or flights, shall we say.
While Santa traditionally brings joy, the elves working in this new North Pole workshop are quite the busy bees, elbow-deep in political maneuvering. The gift-giving ambiance seems to have shifted more towards stuffing stockings with impeachment articles. The Secretary of War, curiously enough, finds himself at the top of the naughty list due to accusations of murder and mishandling classified information. A bit of coal might have sufficed, but impeachment papers seem to be the preferred stocking stuffer this year.
Meanwhile, some high-profile Democrats find themselves tangled up like Christmas lights on a hectic December morning. From RFK Jr.’s removal from office to Gavin Newsom trying to shift his image with a book tour, it’s a holiday season filled with political posturing and grand gestures. Not to forget, there’s a chilly prediction of precipitation politically advising everyone to take cover. A little fire hydrant humor sprinkled in for good measure. What else screams holiday spirit more than political squabbles?
In addition to all the merry mayhem, Jasmine Crockett and other liberal figures try their luck at lassoing Republican support in the Lone Star State. But converting Republicans isn’t quite like herding reindeer. It seems they have more in common with ornery bulls than with anything a well-meaning cowboy could rope in. The seasoned politicians forget that convincing a Republican is a task that requires not only persuasion but perhaps a sleigh full of presents, instead of political rants.
On the nationwide stage, the plot thickens, and the Democrats’ ship seems to be sinking faster than a snowman in August. There’s a fraud spilling over from Minnesota involving the misuse of government resources—$1 billion’s worth of sleaze, with Ilhan Omar caught right in the eye of the storm. Talk about a blizzard you’d definitely not want to be in. Yet the focus shifts towards vilifying Trump instead of addressing this gaping chasm of fraud. It seems like a Christmas miracle if anyone takes real action.
And there you have it, folks; the kind of political theatre that makes anyone long for a calm, silent night. With all these events unfolding, maybe what we really need for Christmas this year is less drama and more gingerbread. Proper gift-giving or ludicrous political antics—I guess that depends on which Santa comes down your chimney.
