Well, folks, gather ’round for another episode of “What’s Really Going On?” This time we’re unraveling the mystery surrounding an alleged assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump. The scene opens in Butler, Pennsylvania, where a certain Thomas Krooks apparently tried to take out not just Trump but also his supporters. Now that’s a tall order!

First things first, who exactly is Thomas Krooks? According to some, he’s a furry—or perhaps a deeply confused young man with a knack for gender fluidity. He seems to have been entangled with some dark corners of the internet, allegedly discussing firearms and not-so-friendly explosive devices. And yet, despite all this so-called online activity, there were claims suggesting he left no digital trace at all. That’s some next-level online scrubbing if I’ve ever heard it.

Now, here’s where things get even weirder. Some folks, including a former military man named Dale Commtock, suggest there was more than one shooter involved. Yep, not one, but two! Commtock claims high-flying Ukrainians might have been behind the action, hinting at a conspiracy straight from the pages of a spy thriller. The plot thickens faster than your granny’s stew, and we’re left wondering: Just how many cooks were in this clandestine kitchen?

But wait, what’s this about a media blackout? The FBI and Secret Service have been accused of fumbling the investigation worse than a rookie quarterback at his first big game. Could it be they’re covering something up, or is this just business as usual? Meanwhile, Krooks’ family stays tight-lipped, offering little more than cryptic bathroom breaks in response to media queries. Someone call Sherlock Holmes, because we sure need a detective on this case.

Let’s not forget former President Trump, the man of the hour. Rumor has it, he’s got a stash of info that could blow this case wide open. Yet, for reasons only known to him, Trump is playing it close to the chest. It seems even a former president knows when to keep a card up his sleeve. Could it be he’s saving this ace for the next election, or is it all part of some elaborate political chess game with our buddy Zelensky in Ukraine?

In the end, this tangled tale raises more questions than answers, and conjectures abound. Theories are stacking up higher than a Jenga tower, with accusations flying faster than speeding bullets. While we wait for the truth—or something like it—just remember, folks: In politics, what’s reported isn’t always what’s real, and what’s left unsaid can speak volumes. Now, what do you reckon is really going on? Stay tuned and stay sharp!