Dem Hopeful Rocked by Explosive Lewd Text Scandal

As much as the world loves a good diplomatic drama, nothing quite matches the show unfolding around the Middle East these days. President Trump is rocking the political stage once more, claiming that peace talks with Iran are galloping along at top speed. This comes in the wake of Israel and Hezbollah shaking on another truce. Though the weekend wasn’t exactly peaceful, with the U.S. doing a bit of military landscaping on Iranian sites, Iran charmingly responded by lobbing a couple of missiles Kuwait’s way. The U.S. managed to intercept these sky-bound gifts, effectively keeping the fireworks to a minimum. But hey, a little excitement never hurt the peace process, right?

Meanwhile, across the globe and amidst the Congo’s breathtaking scenery, there’s a less delightful spectacle involving the Ebola outbreak. With 282 confirmed cases and over a thousand more suspected, things are looking anything but rosy. In Kenya, the screenplay thickens with protests against a temporary quarantine center stalling operations. Exposed Americans there are now facing a showdown with concerned locals, who understandably aren’t too thrilled about the public health implications.

Back on the political front, Maine Senate candidate Grant Plathner is giving tabloids a run for their money. Accusations of sending inappropriate texts while being a married man are swirling around the Democratic hopeful. Some Democrats cling to hope, showing steadfast support, probably thinking Plathner’s misadventures will somehow magically transform into virtues. But New Jersey’s Senator Cory Booker, with a raised eyebrow, whispers that maybe Plathner should start rehearsing some answers. After all, a little accountability never hurt a campaign—or did it?

Let’s not forget the Atlantic’s brewing storms either. Hurricane season is here to sprinkle a bit of Mother Nature’s power across the ocean. While NOAA’s experts predict a decrease in storms thanks to El Niño’s whimsical winds, it’s still a long season till November 30th. Four major hurricanes ripped through the high seas last year, a fact that suggests bigger storms may still be crouching in the lineup. As the saying goes, better secure that lawn furniture just in case.

And then there’s the curious case of remote work presumably throwing a wrench into the plans of young college graduates. According to the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, more young people are finding themselves jobless in supposedly “remotable” positions. Researchers suggest that the art of training and mentoring is taking a hit when the office is one’s living room couch. Who knew working in pajamas could industrially disorient a generation faster than you can say “millennial disdain”?

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Keith Jacobs

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