In the chaotic swirl that is the Democrat party’s early nominations for the 2028 presidential race, the stage is set for a slapstick comedy show. With everyone from the fiery AOC to the slick Gavin Newsom and the always enigmatic Kamala Harris stuck in a puzzling dead heat alongside a newcomer named John Oaf (seriously, who?), it seems like the race is wide open. And it’s quite the spectacle with the party having no clear leader in sight, sparking a midterm madness that’s already keeping political junkies on the edge of their recliners.

Now, let’s dive into the headline act of this comedic drama: Gavin Newsom, the current master of California’s political stage. In a recent CNN interview, he took a leisurely stroll down memory lane—or perhaps just back from a French Laundry feast—and regaled a star-struck Jake Tapper with his internal musings on a possible presidential run. Bless his heart, Newsom shyly admitted he wasn’t quite ready to run against President Biden back in 2024. Apparently, he just didn’t have the burning “why” that’ll make his potential presidency the stuff of legends, and he’s fixated on keeping his four kids’ approval ratings sky-high. Because, you know, teenagers today have such discerning political tastes.

And in a plot twist that nobody saw coming—cue the dramatic music—Gavin was akin to a knight in shining armor, promising not to challenge his fellow Californian, Kamala Harris, should she throw her hat in the ring. The political chivalry was heartwarming… or something. But to many, his fervent declarations of deference sound more like a soap opera script than a politician’s strategy. After all, Newsom and Harris are like oil and water—when it comes to their political alliances. Yet perhaps this is just wise maneuvering in the tangled reeds of California’s grand political lake, where only one can paddle freely, funded by a single flood of dollar bills.

But not everyone buys into this script. In fact, a rumored federal investigation involving Gavin over some questionable financial practices adds a delicious twist to the tale. Fun fact: Kamala Harris jumpstarted this legal drama herself. Could it be a classic case of frenemies? Maybe Kamala’s just keeping the plot spicy to make sure Newsom’s dance card remains open but distant from her own path. Meanwhile, Jake Tapper’s role as Gavin’s personal life coach during their fishing session raises eyebrows. It’s doubtful anyone will find him offering a friendly ear to a Republican over a leisurely game of golf.

This Democrat drama is already unfolding like a Hollywood movie. With the party’s top contenders squaring off in the most unpredictable plotline yet, can anyone guess how this thriller will end? Well, with AOC stirring up the scene and the California candidates battling over fundraising fingers in a myriad of political pies, this race is anything but predictable. But one thing’s for sure: the intrigue and backroom dealings are sure to keep us all entertained until the closing credits roll.