Ah, AI. The great technological beast that threatens to swallow us whole, and yet promises us a world full of marvels and the best memes the internet has ever seen. Apparently, the future isn’t flying cars and hoverboards, it’s deepfakes and AI-generated parodies. This cutting-edge tech allows users to whip up videos and films without breaking a sweat or the bank. Forget the big-budget Hollywood productions; a couple of clicks and a handful of credits can do it all. Silicon Valley seems to think it’s all part of the grand plan to upend the entertainment industry. But who knew the future would look like Will Smith eating spaghetti with sound effects straight out of a 90s video game?

Let’s get our priorities straight. From the panic of sea-level rise to “spyballoons,” it seems that the next crisis the world is stumbling headlong into is the dreaded “deepfake dilemma”. Because, let’s be real, what could possibly be of more consequence than not being able to tell if a video of a politician, say finding seashells arranged in a suspiciously anti-Trump number, is real or computer-generated? Surely, the loss of jobs due to AI replacing programmers is just small potatoes compared to that, right? Someone tell Wall Street and Washington to catch up because the tech wizards of San Francisco claim there’s a super-intelligence revolution just six years away. Maybe it’s all the kale and quinoa in the Bay Area that fuels these tech predictions.

While AI is setting its sights on replacing actors, one can only wonder what the future holds for our good friends in Tinseltown. Will A-list actors be reduced to quivering in their mansions as AI-generated stars take over the screens? Perhaps our beloved Hollywood elite could find new gigs: how about keynote speakers at seminars warning about the dangers of AI overtaking their Oscar dreams?

And as if AI-generated video wasn’t enough, San Francisco’s finest are set on gifting us all with AI “companions.” Forget real friends; those are so last millennium. Why bother with meaningful human connections when you can have pre-programmed pals who always agree with you? The cure for loneliness, some tech CEOs say, is more algorithms—not more real-world relationships. Imagine a world where your best friend is a bundle of circuits and code, blissfully devoid of any independence. That’s right, AI buddies are getting groomed to become the social life of tomorrow.

Let’s pour one out for Elon Musk’s noble quest to create a “good AI.” Because if history’s taught us anything, it’s that every potential world-ending OG computer always started as a well-meaning invention. Beware of those who claim they’re saving the world one line of code at a time—today’s savior might just be tomorrow’s Terminator. In the end, real or artificial, count on what’s called the San Francisco consensus—a hopeful notion that confounds the rest of society who can’t see why this brave new AI frontier is where humanity should plant its flag. In the world of the future, it seems sanity is only an app away.