Benny kicks off his latest commentary with the enthusiasm of a kid on a sugar high after sneaking a packet of gummy bears. He doesn’t need a degree in history to know how to roast his foes, particularly when the main target is none other than tech titan Tim Cook—who would forever be known in the world of internet trolling as “Tim Apple.” Yes, you read that right. It appears Donald Trump had a little fun at Cook’s expense during a chat, which, as it turns out, resulted in a whopping $1 million donation from Cook to Trump’s inauguration. Talk about having the last laugh!
But wait, there’s more! It seems that Cook’s gesture is just the tip of the iceberg. In the realm of progressive corporate antics, major players like Amazon and Meta are starting to rethink their “Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion” (DEI) programs faster than a kid changes channels when their mom walks into the room. Benny points out these companies recently began rolling back their DEI initiatives after re-evaluating their effectiveness, which he humorously claims struggled to achieve a score of zero—perhaps the only time they’ve failed to produce anything tangible.
With some well-placed trolling from Trump, it appears corporate America is having a massive wake-up call. As tech companies like Amazon quietly distance themselves from the woke agenda, Benny can barely contain his glee. It’s as if he was handed the keys to the candy store after a decade stuck in the “no sugar” zone. Bezos and his crew seem to have come to the realization that they might just need a friendly relationship with the government to keep their empire afloat. How shocking! The CEO of a global giant actually needs to tread carefully in the world of politics? Who would have thought?
And let’s not forget the silver lining: It’s a fantastic time for Benny to wave the flag of victory and let the world know that wokeness might just be on its last legs. With major companies slashing their woke policies left and right, he envisions a brighter future for businesses to thrive without bureaucratic entanglements. What’s next? Are we going to see a ‘Free Market Day’ at McDonald’s? With their recent decision to drop quotas and avoid playing the woke game, Benny takes a victory lap—because, let’s face it, McDonald’s drive-thru needs to be accessible to every hungry customer, not just a select few.
As we draw to a close, Benny is practically glowing with enthusiasm for what he considers the dawning of the “Golden American Century.” Between chuckling at Tim Cook’s spontaneous donation, poking fun at Bezos’s buddy-buddy meeting with Trump, and gleefully watching companies like Amazon and McDonald’s trim the fat from their woke policies, he seems convinced that laughter really is the best medicine for a world that’s been a little too serious for too long. So, let’s embrace the chaos and enjoy the show as progressive politics continues to wobble on its tightrope, wondering when (or if) it will finally hit the ground.
