Andrew Klavan, a conservative commentator, recently took on TikTok’s latest viral trends in a hilarious and eye-opening video. He mocked the platform’s obsession with “girl math” and astrology, calling both out as nonsensical distractions from common sense. Klavan joked about “girl math” logic, where spending $100 and getting a $10 reward is falsely treated as “making money.” He argued this kind of thinking encourages irresponsible habits instead of rational budgeting.
Klavan also roasted TikTok’s astrology culture, specifically targeting horoscopes for Cancers like himself. He laughed at predictions about career growth and family drama, suggesting they’re too vague to mean anything. “If the stars can’t even agree on my coffee order, why trust them with my future?” he quipped. His take highlighted how astrology often replaces personal responsibility with cosmic excuses.
The video didn’t hold back on TikTok’s “beige flags” trend either. Klavan mocked users for labeling harmless quirks—like using timers instead of alarms—as red flags. He called it proof of a generation overanalyzing every little thing. “Since when did being slightly weird become a crime?” he asked, urging viewers to embrace individuality over groupthink.
Klavan saved special scorn for the “coquette” trend, where users tie pink bows on everything from toilet paper to fast food. He compared it to “throwing glitter on a dumpster fire” — pretty but pointless. His critique tied into a broader conservative theme: modern trends prioritize aesthetics over substance, leaving young people adrift.
The commentator didn’t just criticize. He offered a solution: Helix Sleep mattresses. Klavan promoted their 20% discount with code SPRING20, joking that a good night’s sleep beats “manifesting” success through TikTok rituals. “Your back pain isn’t a zodiac sign — it’s a sign you need a better bed,” he said, blending humor with practical advice.
Klavan’s takedown of “de-influencing” was equally sharp. He argued the trend, which claims to help people spend wisely, often becomes just another fad. “Telling you not to buy things… while selling you a $50 candle,” he scoffed. His message was clear: true wisdom comes from lived experience, not TikTok gurus.
The video wrapped with a call to ditch viral trends and focus on timeless values. Klavan urged viewers to reject “mystical nonsense” and build lives on hard work and faith. “God gave you a brain — use it,” he said, summing up his conservative critique of today’s obsession with shortcuts and superstitions.
Throughout, Klavan’s blend of humor and insight offered a rallying cry for common sense. By spotlighting Helix Sleep’s affordable mattresses, he underlined a practical alternative to the chaos of online trends. His final advice? Log off, pray, and invest in a bed that actually lets you rest.
