In the grand carnival of politics, where logic seems to have taken a permanent vacation, Donald Trump just stepped up to the mic and dropped a bombshell that’s got the media weeping uncontrollably into their lattes. Yes, folks, the man who made “fake news” a household phrase has decided to pardon over 1,500 individuals arrested during the ruckus that was January 6th. You’d think he uncovered the secret to eternal life! But, alas, it’s just another day in the topsy-turvy world of American politics.
Now, if you find yourself scratching your head wondering why the media is once again clutching their pearls over January 6th, take a seat. It turns out that the media’s favorite pastime is obsessing over the past—especially when it involves the orange man. Apparently, the pardons came as a surprise, despite their predictions about preemptive pardons flying around like confetti at a parade. But hey, predictably inconsistent is the name of the game when it comes to the left. It’s fascinating to see how they twist themselves into pretzels, all while accusing Trump of undermining democracy. Because nothing says “democracy” quite like pardoning family members who might be involved in, let’s say, less than lawful activities. As it stands, the Biden clan is putting together quite the family reunion of pardons, including none other than Hunter Biden. Just picture it—a Thanksgiving dinner filled with tales of shady dealings and evasion of accountability. A true Hallmark moment.
Speaking of family affairs, let’s hop over to the ever-fabulous world of gender discussions that seems to flip logic on its head. Remember when there were only two genders? Yeah, those days are over, and now we have 58 (or however many the TikTok generation decides to throw into the mix). But don’t worry! The fine folks over at the progressive think tanks have it all covered. Just ask the Democrat operatives who appear on talk shows, stuttering and mumbling their way through the simple question of how many genders there actually are. Spoiler alert: They still haven’t got a clue! In fact, the level of confusion displayed is almost impressive, like watching someone try to untangle Christmas lights while blindfolded.
If you’re wondering how we got here, you’re not alone. The once-straightforward world of male and female has been turned into a free-for-all, where teachers in public schools are bending over backwards trying to keep up. There’s even a tale of a teacher who — gasp — misgendered a student, resulting in an apology marathon that would put a political candidate to shame. Can we just take a moment to acknowledge that kids today have the patience of saints? Back in the day, a simple “hey, what’s your name?” would have sufficed, and if a teacher messed up your pronouns, they would have been more worried about dodging erasers than facing a public outcry.
As if that wasn’t enough of a spectacle, the whole situation gets cranked up another notch when you factor in the student activism that’s blossoming from this chaos. One brave student’s fight against being failed for using “male” and “female” pronouns spiraled into a circus act of its own, complete with protesters pulling fire alarms and barricading buildings, all while dancing like they were at a music festival. If nothing else, this scene screams, “We put the ‘fun’ in fundamental activism!”
So, while one half of the political landscape is scrambling to redefine gender and the other is busy trying to put the marbles back in the bag, one thing is clear: The absurdities keep piling up. With Trump handing out pardons like Oprah gives away cars, and progressives grappling with the reality of their own definitions, it seems America is sitting back, popcorn in hand, enjoying the show. Who could’ve predicted it? As the world spins further into absurdity, the only thing left to do is laugh—or cry, depending on the news of the day.
