In a move that was as surprising as a bear disguised in a bunny suit, CNN’s parent company, Warner Brothers Discovery, decided to separate the struggling network from its more successful counterparts. Anyone who’s ever watched CNN lately might think it’s high time. The comedic twist? CNN managed to gather only a measly 426,000 viewers in its prime time slot. For comparison, Fox News boasts a booming 2.3 million viewers. It’s as if CNN is playing fetch with a ghost—no audience turning up to play.
The satirical scene of CNN’s dwindling viewership screams louder than their headlines. They’ve been handed the consolation prize as the network continues its deep dive into oblivion. Just like a dessert left out to melt, the network is being set aside, perhaps to perish away from the spotlight. Cable television’s demise seems to be the star of this tragic comedy, pushing CNN into what feels like the media’s version of antiquated artifacts.
Of course, you can’t talk about CNN without mentioning its infamous coverage style. They’re like a cat with a penchant for climbing the wrong trees—choosing the most chaotic locations to report from, as they humorously showed during their coverage near Gaza. Their choice to broadcast amidst tank rounds seems par for the course for a network striving desperately for eyeballs in the most absurd ways.
Meanwhile, with Warner Brothers Discovery reorganizing CNN, some familiar faces might have to face the music. Known personalities at CNN are likely seeing their lucrative contracts laid out like a house of cards facing a stiff breeze. But, hey, the former President did brand them as “fake news,” and it seems, in this case, the moniker might carry more truth than fiction. The ratings are lower than a limbo bar, and the embarrassment is more visible than ever.
While Trump is busy raking in cash, CNN’s lifeboat is famously missing. Perhaps CNN can take some notes on how he managed his resurrection post-media blackout. But for now, it looks like CNN is treading humorous waters, bereft of viewers and needing a compass to navigate the new streaming era. They may be left with the job of keeping sandbags at hand—because the tide is definitely not in their favor.