In a twist that could only happen in the hectic world of politics and media, the curtains fell on 2024 with a thud as ABC News coughed up a staggering $15 million to settle a defamation lawsuit brought by none other than Donald Trump. That’s right, folks! ABC just turned a hefty chunk of change into a financial gift to the former president’s presidential foundation. It seems they provided enough funding for Trump to potentially carve out an entire “Fake News Wing” in his museum. One can only imagine what the exhibits might hold. Perhaps a life-sized cardboard cutout of George Stephanopoulos standing beside a giant meme about “alternative facts.”
But wait, there’s more! CNN, that bastion of journalistic integrity (or lack thereof), is also finding itself in hot water. Just as 2024 was counting down to midnight, a jury in Panama City, Florida, landed a massive blow against the network, siding with Navy SEAL veteran Zachary Young. The jury found CNN guilty of defamation and ordered the network to pay Young $5 million in compensatory damages. CNN’s little jaunt through the legal system turned into quite the ruckus after a bombshell report suggested Young had profited illegally while helping people flee Afghanistan during the chaotic Biden withdrawal. Never mind the heroic actions of a veteran; CNN decided it was better to throw mud at a Navy SEAL than criticize the actual decisions made by the administration.
CNN’s lawyers must have been sweating bullets as the jury deliberated for eight hours—a period where they probably recalibrated their spins, hoping against hope that they could find some way to wriggle out of this one. But alas, the jury ruled—and now, CNN’s covering their proverbial rear as they brace for what’s known as the punitive damages phase of the trial. Meanwhile, their life’s work as purveyors of “breaking news” hangs in the balance. One can’t help but wonder, given their recent courtroom appearances, if CNN will begin running public service announcements in an effort to rehabilitate their tarnished image. Perhaps something like, “Please pay us to report on news,” should be their new slogan.
What a stunning narrative this all paints! The same network parading reporters through the courtroom of public opinion suddenly finds itself on the other side of the commonsense curtain. It’s as if they’ve stepped into a bizarre version of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” where facts go to die and integrity is a cheshire cat that’s always a little out of reach. These amusing courtroom antics just illustrate a broader pattern—the mainstream media repeatedly jugging accusations of bias and wrongful journalism while simultaneously claiming to hold the powerful accountable. And in an age of instant information, more people are taking notice.
Now, imagine this: CNN’s legal woes go deeper, potentially leading to a jaw-dropping billion-dollar defamation lawsuit. If true, that kind of money could give the network a major case of buyer’s remorse—not that they really purchased journalistic integrity in the first place. The irony here is rich, as CNN tries to convince the world that they’re incapable of falling from grace because “reporting the truth” is paramount. It gets even better: their defense can be summed up as, “Please don’t destroy us with punitive damages—after all, we need money to continue giving you more of the same quality journalism that landed us in this mess!”
So what’s the takeaway? Perhaps it’s time for these media giants to develop better detection skills for the stories they’re pushing and the reputations they’re defaming. As it stands, it seems that the courtroom has become a more reliable venue for untangling the truth than their prime-time broadcasts. But then again, with the price tag of truth soaring and the responsible reporting seemingly relegated to the archives, who knows where they’ll land next? As we head into 2025, it’s clear the media landscape won’t be boring any time soon. There’s a definite show worth watching—the headlines might just serve as a far better spectacle than the news they’re covering!
