In today’s political circus, some folks on the left have decided that the mere act of owning a Tesla is enough to paint a target on one’s back. It’s not enough that Tesla owners might not even support Trump; being associated with Elon Musk is enough to stir up a tempest of rage. This peculiar bit of ire turned violent, with Tesla dealerships becoming the unwilling recipients of literal fire power. Meanwhile, in a bizarre twist, a conservative group decided that enough is enough with the paper straws, and laid siege on a company producing these soggy little annoyances.

One has to wonder, how did we arrive here, at a point where smashing up cars and declaring war on paper straws is considered just another weekend in America? It’s almost as if owning a Tesla has become the new scarlet letter among left-wing zealots. Why rant about electric vehicles when the GOP’s former standard-bearer is out on the White House lawn, showcasing a new electric car like it’s the prize car on a game show? Oh, the irony.

Further north, over in Minnesota, Governor Tim Walz, who perhaps had a bit too much refreshment, seemed to revel in Tesla’s setbacks. Here’s a man who should be acutely aware that his own state’s pension fund is tied to Tesla. Yet, there he was, gleefully waving a phone showing Tesla’s stock numbers like a cat toying with a mouse, apparently oblivious to the financial prosperity of his own state’s retirees. You can’t make this stuff up. With such scenes, one might ask Tim Walz who exactly is asking for his return to the limelight, let alone putting him as second to Kamala Harris. Cue crickets.

But this isn’t just about a Governor with a flair for the dramatic. No, the drama spreads much further, tracing back to the age-old tale of dark money and cloudy motives. Using Tesla dealerships as surrogate battlefields, infamous names like George Soros and organizations such as MoveOn rear their heads again, allegedly pouring funds into a movement itching for a cause. It wouldn’t be a proper political drama without conspiracies and mysterious benefactors, now, would it?

All the while, Democrats find themselves in quite the pickle, seemingly without a trusty jar-opener called leadership. From Bernie Sanders championing old rallies, to Kamala Harris potentially pondering a Californian gubernatorial run, it’s a carnival of confusion. Not to mention a certain Grandpa Joe vibe from our President, echoing that desperate struggle to recapture a grand past from the comfort of a nightshirt. While the Dems reel from one comedic stumble to the next, they’re doing so in a vortex of self-reflection, each convinced they are the next leader-in-waiting.

In sum, it’s a messy painting of our current political landscape, colored by missed opportunities and tangled fictions. Just when one scenario seems like the bottom of the barrel, the next delves deeper. Democrats better start untangling their web of confusion before it becomes their undoing, leaving Republicans ample canvas to paint their path forward, ensuring future weekends aren’t out of a dystopian novel or, worse yet, another farce waiting to happen.