It seems the Democratic Socialists of America have decided to roll out their latest platform, and boy, it looks like a Frankenstein monster cobbled together from discarded leftist dreams and nightmares. To start with, the plan to abolish the Senate, presidency, and even the Supreme Court is the political equivalent of flipping the bird to the founding fathers’ painstaking work. They’re not trying to hide their motives either. Just admit they want to turn the democratic process into their little puppet show run entirely by Congress. But given Congress’s 9% approval rating, they might want to rethink leaving such crucial decisions to a group that couldn’t decide on the best pizza topping.

Furthering their agenda to redefine America, they have a grand plan to offer amnesty to illegal immigrants while simultaneously defunding the Department of Defense, cheerfully renamed in their minds as the “Department of War.” It’s a bit rich, considering their track record of understanding security is shakier than a card house in a hurricane. With no defense department, America might just be the hottest ticket at the “Land Grabbing Bonanza.” Forget about local powers; even Canada might find the proposition too tempting to resist.

Now, in a somewhat desperate effort to maintain party unity, Nancy Pelosi is attempting to perform an Olympic-level gymnastic routine by balancing the far-left’s revolutionary zeal with moderate Democrat sensibilities. She’s calling for a focus on helping folks with real-world issues like bringing down the cost of living and serving kitchen table necessities. Yet, the audacious notions running wild in her party make it feel like she’s herding invisible cats with conflicting agendas.

These fanciful ideas seem to resonate best in the online universe, where likes and retweets eclipse common sense, and leaders like Bernie Sanders manage to bask in virtual adoration. However, it gets murky in the real world. Polls in certain states show candidates with a questionable grasp on their resumes lead against more seasoned, pragmatic Democrats. Still, when the lights of Twitter fade, the reality doesn’t seem to match the illusion of widespread popularity that the extremists tout.

In a final, comedic twist, the socialist wave somehow manages to reduce itself to a sad spectacle, with more drama than substance. While the far-left talks of ending everything but the kitchen sink, they might be unknowingly gifting Republicans solid ammunition to ridicule and solidify their stance. Watching Democrats struggle with this intraparty identity crisis provides Republicans a prime opportunity to point and laugh, all the while solidifying their own ranks as the last bastion of rationality in a sea of absurdity.