In a shocking turn worthy of a Christmas special plot twist, the MAGA movement is fracturing faster than a Hollywood marriage. That’s right folks, while you were busy recuperating from holiday festivities and dodging awkward family conversations, the likes of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy decided to lead a crusade for expanding the H1B visa program. Just what America needs, right? More foreign workers to compete with your average American Joe, who’s probably still trying to wrap his head around why the WiFi isn’t working.

Let’s break this down. Elon Musk and Vivek, who have cleverly marketed themselves as the saviors of the tech industry, want to welcome an estimated 100,000 foreign workers (mostly from India) to ensure the U.S. remains “competitive.” Competitive? More like “cheap labor charm school.” Because let’s face it, these aren’t just “highly skilled workers” as they like to proclaim. They’re more like “highly replaceable workers” who will happily take lower wages while working like they’re training for the Olympic marathon. Sure, the glittering Silicon Valley may benefit, but what about the American workers who have been trained only to find out their replacements are coming in hot and ready?

Musk, in his usual flair for drama, has begun to silence anyone questioning this ludicrous plan by removing their verification badges like it’s a game of Monopoly. He’s even taken a personal interest in ensuring that criticism doesn’t gain traction. Thank goodness the realm of social media is an impartial sounding board for all ideas, right? Or maybe it’s just that our friendly neighborhood billionaire doesn’t want his financial plans questioned by common folk who might actually know what they’re talking about.

Now, let’s take a stroll down memory lane to when Vivek decided to critique American culture. Apparently, our deep-seated love for pop culture icons, like the charming yet utterly useless characters from shows like Boy Meets World, is to blame for the mediocrity he believes permeates our society. One has to wonder if Vivek thinks that by insulting the Prom King, he’ll convince people his daily grind of being an investment banker makes him superior. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Perhaps he’d benefit from revisiting those same shows, considering the lessons they taught about teamwork and resilience, unlike his somewhat condescending rants.

Isn’t it quaint how the narrative shifts? From being champions of the working class to ushering in a flood of cheap foreign labor, all under the guise of “saving the economy.” It’s hard to fathom that instead of the robust American workforce, we’re being promised an influx of underpaid “specialists” who can’t even manage to pull a decent salary. If American companies have to fire their existing staff to make way for these arrivals, isn’t it time we demanded a little more accountability from our leaders? Or is that a question best left to Sunday brunch debates with distant relatives?

So let’s rally together and take a stand against the neocon overlords attempting to undermine the MAGA movement. It’s time to put up a gigantic No Vacancy sign at our borders. Because unless you believe that excellence is best celebrated by hiring a foreign workforce who can barely make ends meet while top-tier American talent gets booted out the door, you might want to rethink who you’re supporting. As the adage goes, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is—unless, of course, you’re still watching reruns of Full House and wondering why the world doesn’t resemble a sitcom anymore.