In a world where joy is often in short supply, especially amongst those left of center, it seems the conservatives have stumbled upon the secret sauce. This not-so-hidden recipe involves quite a bit of external focus—a focus on family, community, liberty, and a purposeful life. While the left delves into the depths of what they personally feel, sometimes considering if they should mimic a feline’s life choices, conservatives are out there living it up with real catnip—figuratively speaking, of course.

Now, let’s talk about one of the little conservatives leading the way. Picture a tiny six-month-old confronted with the absurdity of a mask mandate. She may not have been able to articulate her disdain in the Queen’s English, but her actions spoke volumes. This little bundle of curiosity, named Eloise, didn’t need words. Her instincts told her exactly what to do with that piece of unnecessary fabric: get rid of it. Throw it out! Just as eloquent as any lengthy scientific study supporting her position. Who knew someone so young, and, yes, lacking a doctorate, could be more sensible than some experts?

As Eloise grows up, she carries this torch of liberty and common sense. Her disdain for the mask hasn’t waned one bit. Now five years old, she’s still tossing masks out like a pro. It wouldn’t be surprising if she’s already outrunning Dr. Fauci—not just in her mile-a-minute quest for freedom. With such early involvement in expressing her freedoms, she exemplifies what it means to pursue life, liberty, and happiness in pure joyous form.

The secret sauce conservatives cling to isn’t just in raising mask-ditching prodigies. It lies in forming connections beyond oneself, in finding joy through religious faith, building a thriving family, and ensuring that little ones like Eloise know the virtue of liberty from the start. It’s woven into their lives like a well-loved quilt, warm and comforting, passed down through generations.

So, while the left might decide which animal or emotion they wish to embody next, the right stands firm in crafting their legacy, one unraveled mask at a time. They celebrate both the big and small moments, cultivating happiness within their community and passing down the timeless values of freedom and family. After all, Eloise isn’t just a masked crusader—she’s the future many on the right are rearing for a bright, mask-free tomorrow.