In the latest episode of the Biden family drama, the plot twists have become so outrageous that even Hollywood screenwriters would have a tough time justifying them. Hunter Biden has officially received a pardon from his father, President Joe Biden, for any and all crimes, which makes one ponder: has democracy turned into a sitcom that’s just been renewed for another hilariously awkward season? Talk about a plot thickener! The Democrats went from “no one is above the law” to “from my cold, dead hands, I’ll pardon my son!” faster than you can say “double standard.”
Let’s rewind to July 2023, when Congressman Dan Goldman, not just any Democrat but one who appears to be wrestling with his own optimism, assured the media that a Biden pardon was about as probable as a snowstorm in Miami. Fast forward to today, and Goldman’s reaction is like watching a cat try to cover up its mess on a freshly cleaned floor—bewildered, desperate, and downright absurd. It’s like he walked into a live press conference involving a clown car. Surprise! The clown doesn’t just have a big red nose; he’s sitting behind the Resolute Desk, and he’s got a hammer and sickle stuck between his suit buttons.
Let’s not forget the foiled aspirations of the past, where Adam Schiff, climbing Mount Hypocrisy, tried to enact legislation to prevent presidents from pardoning relatives. He was convinced that Trump would pardon Donald Jr. because why not? Schiff, in his state of perpetual panic, forgot to buy a new crystal ball—perhaps one that works, too, because now it looks like Joe Biden played his “family first” card right out of the Democratic playbook while tossing the rule of law into the recycling bin. Nothing says “trust me” like your dad swooping in to make all your legal troubles disappear—sorry, it’s just not as cool as superhero movies when it’s your own family!
The media talked a good game, projecting Biden as some paragon of virtue who wouldn’t slap a pardon on his son even if the world imploded. Yet here we are, looking at a press conference with White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre attempting an exquisite verbal gymnastics routine. When pressed about Biden’s previous proclamations against a pardon, her response sounded like a toddler trying to explain how the candy jar was magically emptied without any help. “Of course, the president believes in truth,” she stammered, perhaps as she internally grappled with the bitter realization that the Emperor had no clothes—and likely wouldn’t be able to pay his bills either.
With all of this behind-the-scenes drama playing out, one can’t help but feel like they’ve stumbled upon an alternate universe where the rules of logic and consistency are just vague suggestions. The only people clinging to the “no one is above the law” chant are still waiting for the sitcom laugh track to cue in. But alas, it’s not laugh-out-loud funny; it’s more like watching a train wreck in slow motion, popcorn in hand, maybe even with a side of cringe. The left seems to have made their peace with Sundays spent worshipping family loyalty over legal accountability—great lessons for the youth, wouldn’t you say?
As the media gorges itself on this juicy scandal, you can sense a genuine annoyance bubbling up like Aunt Marge after her fifth serving of holiday casserole. With Governor Newsom, Elizabeth Warren, and the rest of the liberal elite squirming, the unintentional comedy duo of Joe and Hunter Biden continues to deliver uneven punchlines while the critics stare aghast at the screen. So, in this latest episode of “As the Biden Turns,” the only thing clearer than the hypocrisy is the fact that there’s nothing that a good ol’ family pardon can’t obscure—except, of course, the truth. It’s almost poetic, really; the Democrats might have just constructed the finest monument to the double standard this side of the Mississippi.
