In this week’s whirlwind of a news cycle, it seems an old adage has taken on new life: you spit, we hit. Yep, that’s the motto President Trump brandished as chaos erupted in Los Angeles last week, setting the stage for a firecracker response to unruly protests. Just picture it—a city descended into riotous mayhem, and like a sheriff from an old western, Trump armed the line of defense with a new policy. Although his “they spit, we hit” rhetoric suggested strong action, it was more about broader immigration enforcement rather than a specific policy about spitting. Under this new sheriff’s steadfast gaze, law and order were about to take center stage once more.
It wasn’t just rhetoric either. The general disarray saw some high-octane action with protesters trying their best tricks to evade arrest. Still, it turns out navigating a scooter was no match for the sweeping arm of the law. Some folks hurled bricks and rocks at officers, but military intervention meant the chaos was quelled quicker than you can say, “law and order!” Amid the disruption, protesters set self-driving cars on fire and shattered windows, actions that underscored the ensuing chaos. Law-abiding residents were clear: enough was enough, showcasing a unity in common sense that’s been sorely missed.
How about a little comic relief? Maybe not for the fellow involved, though. In an unverified viral clip that made the rounds, one very unlucky protester allegedly found himself wrestling with the consequences of what one might call misguided bravado. Suppose he had positioned himself in the front lines against ICE, he could have been the unfortunate recipient of a rubber bullet—right in the family jewels. Ouch! He might now be singing, “I’m proud to be an American,” with an unexpected twist, and somewhere in America, there’s a taxpayer feeling pretty smug about funding that particular beanbag round. You could almost call it an involuntary free vasectomy, but without confirmation of this incident, it remains speculative.
When it comes to protecting public safety, law enforcement officers gave several polite warnings before taking action, which is more than you could expect in the middle of a disturbing scene. It’s rather like asking a mischievous cat not to play with the yarn but expecting it to listen. Now, even if protesters are nursing wounds and sharing their tales, the expected internet response? Just a cacophony of shared disbelief and the occasional chuckle. Whether justified or not, there’s no denying a sense of irony lingered sweetly in the air.
Looking over this recent debacle, it may be wise for any would-be protester to take heed: aiming for peaceful assembly is always preferable to pyrotechnics and projectiles. After all, nobody wants to be caught at the receiving end of an unplanned nutcracker, especially when it’s taxpayer-funded. So, the lesson is driven home—play it straight, avoid the heat, and cherish the peace. Let’s leave the ball games for sports and mischief for the movies.
