In the ongoing series of cosmic conundrums, there’s always something mystifying about how folks from across the aisle grapple with the grand questions of the universe. Our current pickle takes us on a tour of the cosmos, where theories are as plentiful as stars in the sky, and some explanations are as hard to believe as seeing Bigfoot on a weekend hike. It’s like a brainstorming session where the only rule is that anything goes—except maybe critical thinking and common sense, of course.

Let’s start with the concept of space expanding. If space is like a balloon, then how does this expansion occur? Our progressive pals love blowing ideas into the air without considering the consequences, a strategy they seem to apply outside the political realm too. The mere thought that the universe could be as simple as blowing up a balloon only to realize you’re standing in a void is quite the mind-bender. Looks like these folks are setting new records in mental gymnastics—and losing track of gravity somewhere along the way.

But if that doesn’t get your head spinning, wait for the doughnut-shaped universe idea—it might sound sweet, but hold the sprinkles! In this scenario, the universe eventually curves back on itself, without a caterer in sight to explain how such a baked good came into existence. Maybe the baker was some cosmic deity, or maybe there’s a scientist out there with flour on their apron and a galaxy in their mixer. Yet, when asked who “baked” such complexities, the room goes silent, much like a classroom when the teacher expects someone to know the answer. It makes you wonder if it takes a leap of faith or a lack of curiosity to swallow these tales whole.

Our scientific sages then seem to embrace the miracle of the Big Bang—mind you, a theory based on extensive evidence that involves all creation sprouting from a speck tinier than a pinhead. Here, the irony is what steals the show. The same skepticism some apply to divine acts, like walking on water or feeding the five thousand, is conveniently packed away when something like the Big Bang demands attention. It’s almost comedic, then, when people choose celestial fireworks over the calming presence preached by most religions. Give them a pinch of scientific fantasy and they rejoice; present anything else, and they want documentary proof stamped by a mythical committee.

All this fascinating chatter leaves one with a final thought. While science demands a singular marvel, religion asks for a host, and everyone chooses their beliefs. Sometimes, it seems those waving the banners of “evidence-based thinking” might just be picking and choosing their marvels, as if selecting toppings at a buffet. It’s surely an entertaining universe, especially when you realize the same people who question faith-based marvels are comfortable contorting their logic until it fits whatever imaginable shape they fancy this cosmic realm to be. Perhaps it’s time to dust off our critical thinking caps and ask more questions about these theories that float through the air like so many inflated balloons.