Liberal Activist Turns Conservative as ICE Agent Sensation

In a world where food delivery services are more popular than ever, some people have taken unique steps to ensure their safety during these transactions. A video recently shared an elaborate process one person goes through every time a delivery driver pulls up to their house. But maybe there’s a simpler solution: moving out of a liberal city and settling somewhere safer. Why take all these precautions when you could just live comfortably in a conservative paradise?

Let’s take a closer look at the extreme routines this individual follows. First, there’s the matter of leaving powder on the driveway to capture the driver’s footprints. Just imagine drivers stepping out of their cars, leaving behind a trail like they’re characters in an old detective movie. Then, they are greeted with handcuffs for a nice pop of medieval drama. It’s as if meal deliveries have turned into an impromptu probation check.

This cautious customer doesn’t stop there. Fake names, a mannequin friend, and constant ID checks might be common on a spy mission, but this is what some deal with for simply ordering takeout. There’s also the use of a drone to snap pictures of the driver’s license plate. And let’s not forget the sound of a growling dog playing in the background. Who knew getting a pizza delivered could feel like auditioning for a Mission Impossible movie?

Finally, the food is thoroughly inspected for tampering, likely accompanied by some CSI-like music in the background. If the driver is deemed trustworthy, they are rewarded with a tip and unchained. A drone tailing their car ensures they’re not camping around the neighborhood. It’s a routine that seems fit for a blockbuster thriller, rather than a casual Friday night.

Why go through this hassle when you could just reside in a red state? Conservative areas are often known for their lower crime rates and sense of community. Everyone knows each other, and maybe the local delivery driver is even a friendly neighbor. It seems that shunning the complexities of urban liberal life could save this cautious soul a lot of effort, not to mention powder and drone batteries.

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Keith Jacobs

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