In today’s episode of “How Woke Can You Go?”, it seems the liberal brigade just hit the turbo button again. This week, we watched a cringe-inducing breakdown of a simple phrase by none other than the cerebral giants at MSNBC. Apparently, the time-honored military slogan “Leave no man behind” has fallen into the politically incorrect pit because someone decided it excludes women. Yes, that’s right. The phrase, which has been used for generations to signal camaraderie and resolve, might cause offense now. Grab your dictionaries, folks, because you’ll soon need to ensure every word you use has been cleared by the language police. Heaven forbid that anyone should take the phrase for what it clearly intends to mean: every service member, regardless of gender, matters.

While some are frantically revising language guides and gender dictionaries, others are actually getting some sense into their heads. Disney World, the childhood dream factory that took a nosedive into Wokeville, made a surprising turnaround. They’ve decided to reintroduce gendered greetings at their Florida park. Characters can now address visitors as boys and girls again. What a concept! It’s almost like they realized that most people actually enjoy a little common sense now and then. So, if you’re visiting, don’t be shocked if Prince Charming actually calls you ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am.’

Meanwhile, not to be outdone, our northern neighbors in Canada are diving headfirst into the rainbow soup, adding yet more letters to the ever-growing and increasingly complex LGBTQ+ acronym. It now resembles something out of a particularly sadistic spelling bee. Is it an acronym or a cryptic code? Future historians will look back and wonder if Canadians were running out of vowels, or if they just had a competing bet on how many letters they could add before folks just give up trying to say it. Either way, it’s good to know they’re focusing on the important issues amidst all the actual real-world problems they could be addressing.

Back to the American soil, the liberal word salad was served with a garnish of unintended hilarity, as Lawrence O’Donnell provided commentary that can only be compared to an exasperated father trying to argue against logic itself. Perhaps he’s gearing up for a career in street mime with all that struggle over words? After all, without words to twist and remake, what’s an ideologue to do? Next thing you know, they’ll want astronauts rewriting Neil Armstrong’s famous words to something gender-neutral like “one small step for they-kind.” You can’t make this up. Oh wait, they just did.

But let’s spare a thought for those genuinely caught in this absurdity. After all, someone needs to speak out against needless complication. So, dear readers, here’s hoping that when the next woke wind blows, it doesn’t sweep away what little common sense remains. In the meantime, buckle up, because if you thought language was tricky before, it just got a lot more complicated. Now, if only we could get back to more pressing matters like, say, lowering taxes or securing the border. That would be a change worth talking about.