Everyone’s in a tizzy about those tariffs these days. The mainstream media has folks convinced that Trump’s tariffs have single-handedly plunged the American economy into darkness, like some villain out of a Hollywood blockbuster. The stock market’s been down for a whole week—cue the panic!—but anyone with half a brain cell knows you can’t judge the market on one bad hair day. It’s like freaking out because it’s cloudy today and assuming it’ll rain for the next year.

President Trump, always the showman, says countries are practically lining up with their best groveling routine. Apparently, it’s all please-and-thank-you as they beg for deals. Can’t you just imagine it? Meanwhile, there’s always some rebel Republican in Congress who pops up like a whack-a-mole, thinking they can out-negotiate the master himself. Let’s face it, Trump brings the art of the deal; Congress brings the art of, well, selling America out faster than you can say “bipartisan.”

Tariffs on Chinese imports are set at a show-stopping 104%, and everybody’s losing it like they’re on a reality TV episode – drama, drama, drama. More tears have been shed over the prospect of pricey iPhones than over any cliffhanger in a soap opera. But if you’re scrambling to buy a new iPhone every year, maybe it’s time for a reality check anyway.

Ah, the nostalgia when even Chuck Schumer, back in 2011, moaned about China’s dirty tricks. For a moment there, you’d think everyone was on the Trump Train long before it even left the station. People have been dodging this problem for ages, shrugging shoulders as if it’ll sort itself out. Now, in a storyline split straight out of some topsy-turvy TV script, everyone’s scrambling to write new narratives, desperate to spin these tariffs into tales of doom. But let’s be real, the sky isn’t falling just yet—it’s just a little overcast with a chance of clarity.