Andrew Klavan recently tried playing Minecraft and had some strong opinions. He called it one of the weirdest games he’s ever seen, with strange elevator-style music and blocky graphics that look like a “giant LSD hallucination.” The sun is square, mushrooms grow randomly, and creepy creatures come out at night. It’s chaos, not the kind of orderly world conservatives value.

Klavan joked about building a “Tower of Claven” to reach the clouds, mocking the game’s pointless goals. He asked why anyone would waste time stacking virtual blocks when they could build real skills or work hard in the actual world. The endless crafting felt silly compared to traditional pastimes like sports or reading.

The game’s nighttime dangers highlight how modern culture glorifies risk without purpose. Zombies and monsters swarm players in the dark, symbolizing society’s moral decay. Klavan questioned if this is what kids should focus on—running from imaginary threats instead of facing real ones like woke ideologies.

Minecraft’s lack of clear rules mirrors today’s “anything goes” mentality. Players can dig holes forever or build nonsensical structures. Conservatives know life needs structure and meaning, not endless distractions. This game teaches kids to embrace confusion, not truth.

Klavan mocked the obsession with “white wool” blocks and other useless items. Collecting virtual junk won’t put food on the table or strengthen families. It’s a metaphor for empty liberal promises—flashy but worthless.

The sunrise and sunset scenes got mild praise, but even beauty here feels artificial. Real sunsets remind us of God’s creation, not pixelated fakery. Games should inspire awe for the real world, not replace it.

Klavan’s final verdict? Minecraft is a bizarre time-waster that reflects our culture’s decline. Patriots should focus on real achievements, not virtual ones. Let’s build communities, not towers in a digital void.