There’s nothing quite like the Olympics to unite the world in a celebration of athletic prowess, dedication, and sportsmanship. Or at least, that’s how it used to be before the diversity police got their hands on it. With the 2026 Winter Olympics just around the corner, it seems the latest must-have is a guide detailing how to root for, well, everybody black. Because as we all know, really enjoying sports isn’t nearly as important as checking off that diversity box.
Our friends over at Yahoo Sports have taken it upon themselves to highlight the glaring absence of black athletes in winter sports. The assertion being, of course, that this is an issue requiring immediate attention, akin to solving global warming with a snowball. The new agenda seems to imply that the lack of diversity is an urgent problem, like missing your skis at the top of a slope. But wait—doesn’t the Summer Olympics serve as a counterbalance, with a plethora of black athletes showing their incredible skills? Never mind, contradictions aren’t important when there’s a narrative to push.
In a plot worthy of an Olympic drama, NBC has decided to involve Snoop Dogg in their broadcast, surely to attract a younger, hipper audience. One can only imagine the cognitive gymnastics required to reconcile the family-friendly Olympic image with a career steeped in the glorification of questionable activities. But hey, if multiculturalism requires a bit of bending over backward, who’s counting?
And because the Olympics can’t go without a bit of political intrigue, there’s Eileen Gu, the American-born athlete competing for China. Her decision to represent China has sparked a debate reminiscent of Cold War tensions, calling into question what it means to be an American. Meanwhile, complementary to the Olympic spirit of freedom and patriotism, some athletes are more focused on criticizing the U.S. government and its policies rather than celebrating their opportunity to represent their country on a global stage.
While athletes spar on who can trash-talk better, Hollywood shows its true colors by remaining largely silent unless it involves some public shaming on social media. Take Kevin James, for example, a celebrity who has mysteriously managed to avoid the political scene unlike his peers. But beware, should his neutrality ever be mistaken for conservatism, we might see a swift re-education process reminiscent of Taylor Swift’s political transformation saga.
Ultimately, while the Olympics should ideally be an athletic arena where competition takes precedence over controversy, some have other ideas. Who knew that rooting for one’s country—and its athletes—without a checklist could be deemed outdated? Here’s hoping the athletes stick to amazing us with their performance and talent, leaving the geopolitics to those who aren’t tasked with crossing the finish line first.
