The “No Kings” protests have achieved their goal, leaving America without any monarchs. Democrats and activists celebrate this victory against an imaginary threat. Conservative voices mock these efforts as misplaced and absurd.

Bruce Flapjaw from the Enlightened Institute of Endemic Imaginary Outrages cheered the outcome. He claimed geriatric Trump supporters were building a far-right monarchy. Flapjaw praised the protesters who rallied against this fantasy. His statement used farm animal sounds to mock the activists.

The protesters included know-nothing quacks and elderly women in mu-mus. Ivy League graduates also joined these pointless rallies. They wasted energy fighting a king that never existed. This shows how detached from reality these groups have become.

Democrats now plan “No Alchemist” protests across America next. They aim to purge all alchemists turning lead into gold. This new imaginary target proves their priorities are misguided. Real issues like inflation get ignored for these fairy-tale battles.

Right-wing groups announced their own protest against Israel. Groypers will march with signs saying “I Will Not Die for Israel.” They’ll use pictures of Christian knights to seem brave. This performance targets an outrage that doesn’t exist.

The Groypers will celebrate not dying for Israel on social media. They’ll misspell “Jew” as “Jeww” in their posts. This reveals their incompetence and ignorance. Such stunts distract from actual problems facing America.

These protests showcase how political activism has lost its way. Both sides invent enemies instead of solving real challenges. Citizens deserve better than these circus acts masquerading as movements.

Hardworking Americans see through this nonsense. They want leaders focused on borders, economy, and freedom. Fighting imaginary kings and alchemists helps no one. It’s time to refocus on what truly matters.