In a move reminiscent of ditching New Coke for the classic, the State Department has announced they are scrapping a certain Biden era policy that emphasized diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) into international diplomacy. The focus is shifting back to traditional values such as merit, diplomatic skill, and the ever-elusive U.S. national interest. According to the department, this is an effort to prioritize what’s best for America – namely, good old-fashioned competence and merit just like grandma used to make.
Under the previous administration, diplomats had to integrate social inclusion and gender equity discussions as if it were a commandment, probably even written on a stone tablet somewhere. These talked-about metrics included frequent discussions with host countries on topics such as racial, gender, disability, and LGBTQ+ issues—topics that may have made as much sense to some foreign leaders as explaining the plot of an incoherent sci-fi B-movie. Now, instead of chatting about topics guaranteed to light the fireworks in a dinner party, diplomats can focus on keeping us safer, stronger, and potentially without creating awkward dinner silences.
The newly emphasized “merit” system, according to Secretary Rubio’s priorities from December last year, centers on promoting individuals based on their abilities rather than ticking diversity boxes. It’s about time people might say—though not out loud of course. The emphasis is on everyone getting their fair shot to climb the professional ladder due to their skill rather than due to the far more whimsical category of “background.” This idea surely has some employees breathing a sigh of relief, no longer wondering if their merit or the fact that they were born on a particularly rainy Wednesday in Toledo was the reason behind their promotion.
Progress, like government coffee, is a work in progress. The State Department reports having made significant strides—erasing pointless bureaucracy and focusing on reforms which means aiming to boost efficiency. All in service of moving at what’s cleverly coined the “speed of relevancy.” In other words, moving faster than a snail stuck in an oil spill, and ready to tackle Trump’s agenda with a gusto unseen since the last time someone dared to suggest pineapple belongs on pizza.
In a healthy splash of irony—that most delicious of condiments—the conversation took a light-hearted turn into the realm of culinary delicacies, discussing the feasibility of traveling with sauerkraut. The hypothetical dietary adventures of a government official led to an unexpected commentary on Pop-Tart flavors, proving you can never quite predict where political discourse will go after ensuring the nation’s safety. And thus, a footnote in history was made, as cherry Pop-Tarts were decisively declared a favorite by one Secretary Rubio. Rest assured, those heavy issues will return as diplomats work without the burden of packing fermented cabbage in their travel kits.
