In the theater of the absurd that is today’s political landscape, the state of Wisconsin is gearing up for a theatrical production of its own, complete with drama, intrigue, and a cast of characters that could give Hollywood a run for its money. This time it’s the Wisconsin Supreme Court’s special election, with none other than Brad Schimel in the spotlight. Now, you might be wondering why the national media has its cameras pointed at the Dairy State. The answer is simple: this election is poised to be the next big showdown in the ongoing saga of “Can We Finally Push Back Against Wokeness?” Spoiler alert: all eyes are on Wisconsin to see if the cheese heads are ready to stand up and say, “Enough is enough!”
Now, let’s talk endorsements because what’s a political circus without a few celebrity clowns in the mix? Elon Musk has thrown in his support—or in his case, maybe a cheese head—hoping to sway the crowd. Musk, who’s quickly risen to the rank of Public Enemy Number Two (just behind Trump himself), has been spotted in Wisconsin, no doubt trying to raise the curtain on a new era of common sense and fiscal responsibility. But not everyone is lining up for tickets to this performance.
Enter stage left: the protesters. In a bid to illustrate the positive impact of their worldview, they’ve decided the best way to protest Musk and his Teslas is by, wait for it—lighting them on fire. Quite the pyrotechnic display, though not exactly the kind that warms the heart. At a New York dealership, a 36-year-old man took center stage with a starring role in “Bad Decisions: The Musical” when he threw Molotov cocktails at a line of unsuspecting Teslas. Thankfully, the police arrested the lead actor before this one-act show could extend to a nationwide tour.
Meanwhile, the liberal media plays the role of puppet master, stirring the pot with a generous dose of stochastic terrorism—a term that here means “inciting chaos without being directly responsible.” While not holding the matches, they’re certainly hinting at where the kindling might be. This has led political foot soldiers to act out in an unscripted, and often unhinged, manner, delightfully caught on Tesla’s security cameras. One can only hope that these auditions for the role of “most clueless activist” don’t continue unfettered.
Adding a layer of comedic gold to this whole show, we’ve got President Trump tossing what can only be described as verbal hand grenades into the crowd. His latest jest about taking a stab at a third term as president has sent the media into a tizzy, as if they’d forgotten how satire works. Not to be outdone by the former president’s antics, the elite of Hollywood were set to gather for their annual gala of journalistic back-slapping—the White House Correspondents’ dinner. But alas, in our era of sheer gravity and solemnity, they’ve cut the comedy, presumably to make room for more interminable pontification.
It’s all just another day in America, where reality often feels like a variety show and the hits just keep on coming. While some might take these events as a sign of societal decay, for those with a keen eye, it’s all an elaborate cautionary tale. It’s high time folks in Wisconsin and beyond decided whether to join the cast or simply sit back and enjoy the performance—popcorn not included.
