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Trump Achieves World Peace Before Inauguration, Biden Left Fuming

Sometimes it feels like history is on a marathon loop, just running the same old race over and over again. If you’ve been paying attention, you might notice that we have the uncanny ability to predict the future by examining the past. And let’s just say, if this week is any indication, the past is certainly prologue in the world of politics.

Remember when Ronald Reagan came onto the scene in 1980 and had to deal with an unfortunate hostage situation in Iran? Back then, the Ayatollah had a captive audience—our American hostages—while Jimmy Carter was busy being about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Reagan pulled no punches, promising to rain down all manners of trouble if the hostages weren’t released. What happened? Well, as soon as Reagan was set to take office, the hostages were suddenly free. Classic case of “you don’t want to mess with this guy.”

Fast forward to today, and we see echoes of that history playing out again. Donald Trump, still not quite cooling his heels post-presidency, has been making waves with his bold proclamations regarding American hostages in Gaza. Even before he officially returns to the White House—an event many are eagerly awaiting—it seems like he’s got the world paying attention. Not long after he waved his proverbial sword and threatened “hell to pay” for Hamas if they didn’t release American hostages, lo and behold, those very hostages started making their way back home.

But just like those awkward moments at a family reunion, you can count on a little drama. In the ultimate plot twist, Joe Biden has waltzed onto the scene, claiming credit for the ceasefire and the release of those hostages, despite the fact that he’s been about as proactive as a sloth on a Sunday. The story clearly shows a pattern: loose lips and even looser claims. As Biden took to the podium, the question on everyone’s lips was just who truly deserved the credit for this diplomatic win—him or the guy who’s not even in office yet?

To make matters even juicier, while Trump is already getting pats on the back from Congress for his diplomatic prowess, the response from the Democratic camp has been nothing short of a melodramatic sitcom. What was supposed to be a moment of unity turned into a comedic spectacle of finger-pointing and dishing out blame. It’s a veritable buffet of hypocrisy, with Democrats tossing out needless accusations, desperately trying to undermine Trump’s prowess while simultaneously holding their breath and playing the credit-game poker.

And here’s the real kicker: peace through strength. Trump’s hotcakes of policy include promises to restore American might and ensure we don’t spill our coffers on foreign adventures while our veterans are living on the streets and potholes grow bigger than some politicians’ egos. Somehow, through a mix of strategic threats and sheer bravado, he’s set the stage for what many view as a return to that elusive “peace.”

As this saga continues to unfold like a poorly plotted sequel, it’s hard not to chuckle at the absurdity of it all. The world watches in awe as America undergoes a political game of hot potato, with credit being flung around like candy at a Fourth of July parade. And somewhere down the line, people seem to have forgotten the true objective: ensuring safety and security at home, while achieving peace abroad. In the end, perhaps the only thing that is genuinely palpable is the bittersweet scent of irony—the clock is ticking, but in the world of politics, history seems destined to repeat itself, albeit with extra layers of melodrama and flair.