In a dazzling debut that could only be described as both hilarious and concerning, Carolyn Levit, the new White House Press Secretary, took the podium and managed to do what few thought possible: she turned the press briefing into an episode of “Whodunit: Biden Edition.” With the confidence of someone who just won a game of political chicken (pun intended), she launched into a defense of the administration that could leave anyone wondering if the administration was more “Sleeping Beauty” than “Commander in Chief.”
Levit, in an impressive show of wordplay and backtracking, claimed that when it comes to skyrocketing egg prices, folks should really place the blame squarely where it belongs: that uncanny phenomenon of reality. It turns out Joe Biden wasn’t just catching some Z’s during his administration; reportedly, he has been sleeping through a good portion of the economic crisis too. While most Americans have been shelling out their hard-earned cash for eggs—and not even the golden variety!—Levit wanted the press to realize that Biden’s dozing off was likely the real culprit behind the 65% increase in prices since he took office. Who knew nap time could be so costly?
But it didn’t stop there. In a classic twist that would make even the most seasoned sitcom writers green with envy, Levit casually blamed the Biden Administration’s “inflationary policies” on the former administration. It’s a classic blame game, really. While most remember the famous “circle of life,” this sounded more like the “circle of blame.” It’s easy to see why the media is having a field day: Republicans may have been the ones directing traffic on inflation, but the Democrats are taking credit for the whole messy roadblock that followed.
In a particularly eyebrow-raising moment, Levit addressed the ongoing chicken shortage by revealing that over 100 million chickens had been “mass killed” due to directives from the Department of Agriculture. If anyone was looking for a local farm-fresh egg omelet option, they might as well have turned to the sky and prayed for delivery from… well, Egg McMuffin heaven. The fact that the administration’s policies led to fewer chickens and consequently fewer eggs really does raise the question: how many cold cuts have to be sacrificed in the name of a breakfast plate?
Levit’s performance, which was part press briefing, part comedy skit, provided just the right amount of absurdity to remind everyone why politics can sometimes feel more like vaudeville than serious governance. By the time she wrapped up, viewers may have been left pondering whether to blame the administration’s mishaps on sleepwalking or just plain cluelessness. One thing is for sure, between an egg shortage and inflation, it’s high time someone gave Joe a wake-up call – and maybe a cookbook to boot!
