WNBA Star Fumes Over Flying Dildos, Refuses to Be Mocked

If you turned on the TV this week to check out a WNBA game, you might have caught something unexpected bouncing across the court—a bright green accessory that definitely doesn’t belong in any sports playbook. Yes, apparently more than a basketball is flying around these courts lately. This peculiar new trend is creating quite the buzz—some would say even more than the games themselves!

The WNBA has found itself in the spotlight for what might be the most unconventional reason in sports history. The neon green dildos have now been tossed onto the court during several games, causing a spectacle far more attention-grabbing than any slam dunk. The latest unfortunate recipient of this bizarre trend? The Indiana Fever and Los Angeles Sparks, during whose game on August 5, these shenanigans took place.

It’s said that comedy is tragedy plus time, but for the WNBA, it seems like their current tragedy is unfolding right now. The hilarious irony is that these toys, which have nothing to do with basketball, have created the most buzz the league has seen in decades. It’s only natural to wonder how they’re going to address this in a manner that doesn’t turn an entire sport into a punchline.

Sophie Cunningham of the Indiana Fever publicly called for more security measures to prevent such interruptions during games. However, there is no mention of a new no-bag policy to shield the courts from unwanted projectiles.

Overall, while the WNBA rushes to find a more permanent fix to its newfound reputation as the nation’s quirkiest sports league, the higher-ups are presumably scratching their heads. The truth? Unless players start scoring more slam dunks and fewer free-throw air balls, fans might keep finding colorful ways to hog the limelight. And, humbly speaking, maybe the league’s boost in visibility could be met with a touch more humor—after all, any press is good press, right? Or perhaps, in this case, it’s definitely memorable!

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Keith Jacobs

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