It’s a sunny day at the Jersey Shore, perfect for a relaxing stroll on the boardwalk, grabbing some fried Oreos, and maybe catching sight of Johnny as he tackles a daunting task: gauging the American public’s understanding of basic government facts. What ensues is a display of confusion, blank stares, and some rather entertaining guesses that make one wonder about the state of civic education these days.
Johnny’s first question about the current Vice President under former President Donald Trump stumps everyone. The variety of answers ranges from J.D. Vance, who is not even in the right branch of government for the role, to a wildly incorrect (though admittedly amusing) J.K. Rowling—perhaps a reflection of just how magical one’s imagination must be to come up with such a response. Not even an incantation could summon the correct answer among these beachgoers.
When it comes to naming the three branches of the U.S. government, the responses become even more tangled. Some think in political party terms with “Republican” and “Democrat,” while others venture a guess with words like “Congress and conservative.” It’s almost as if they were ticking off a list of items from a political grab bag rather than the Constitution. Thankfully, someone finally pieced together “Judicial, Legislative, Executive,” but only after a hearty round of incorrect attempts that could have tired even the most dedicated civics teacher.
And so the quiz continues, with questions about the Constitution’s cherished amendments falling flat. The First Amendment seems lost in an abyss of “free will” and guessing games, while the Second Amendment is hilariously mistaken for “the right to vote,” instead of the right to bear arms. At this rate, one almost expects the founding fathers to roll in their graves and dust themselves off.
Supreme Court justices and their mysterious number of nine further confound the interviewees. They throw out numbers of justices, including a whopping 101, almost as if they were trying to count jellybeans in a jar. When names are requested, the results are comically creative, comprising pop culture figures and beverages alike. One can’t help but chuckle at the mentions of Amy Winehouse and Samuel Adams – definitely legends in their fields, but not exactly legal scholars.
As we return from this whirlwind of civic misadventures, there’s no need to call the dog catcher; apparently, “Nancy Pelosi” is busy ruling the roost elsewhere. The takeaway from Johnny’s beachside inquisition is that, aside from needing a refresher course in U.S. government basics, perhaps there’s also a need to address the quality of education in schools. Meanwhile, let’s hope someone plans a return trip to the Jersey Shore, armed with a stack of pocket Constitutions, just in case.
