It seems as though the beach-goers over at the Jersey Shore are a bit sun-struck and out of their depth when it comes to American history. Johnny’s attempt at a good old-fashioned Fourth of July quiz revealed a startling gap in knowledge about the very foundations of the nation. One might shudder at the answers offered up with such conviction—or perhaps applaud the sheer creativity of their guesses. While some may say they were simply caught up in the thrill of summer, it raises the question: Is this merely the result of our society focusing more on lighting fireworks than lighting up our minds?

Let’s start by dissecting the basic questions that had some folks scratching their heads or pointing toward far-flung nations like Mozambique when asked who America declared independence from. It’s a little troubling—and hilarious—that Mozambique was ever brought into the conversation. One must appreciate the flair for theatrics while quietly cringing at the reality. The answers ranged from world wars to completely fictional generals that seem to have leaped straight out of a Marvel movie. The Fourth of July quiz didn’t just showcase a struggle with history; it might have showcased the dawn of a new genre: historical science fiction.

The priceless answer of “Hitler” when asked about the general leading America to victory during the Revolutionary War takes the cake. History buffs and schoolteachers everywhere likely felt a sudden chill as if a thousand textbooks cried out in horror. It’s fascinating that George Washington, a name so etched into the American psyche, proved as elusive as Waldo in the state of “Where’s Waldo?” Who knew identifying perhaps the most famous general in American history could be such an ordeal?

Even questions about the year of independence turned into, shall we say, a carnival of confusion? It was akin to playing a never-ending game of higher or lower, only here it seemed like everyone left logic at home. One contestant’s journey from 1920 to 1776, with a little encouragement, did eventually hit the mark, but it certainly wasn’t without some rather colorful detours. As for who signed the Declaration? Well, William Shakespeare must be rolling in his grave at this unexpected posthumous promotion.

While these lighthearted interactions at the shore are fun to watch, they offer a glimpse into a more sobering reality. Maybe it’s time to allow history to once again shine brightly alongside those Fourth of July fireworks. After all, knowing our past is essential to navigating the future. It may be that the history of the United States, replete with tales of courage, conflict, and achievement, shouldn’t just be learned—it should be celebrated with honest understanding and respect. Here’s to hoping America’s 250th birthday, and many more after, will see a generation well-versed in the remarkable history that built this great nation. Until then, we can only laugh, shake our heads, and maybe whisper a prayer for future pop quizzes everywhere.